She's no "Snugglebug."

 She only likes to snuggle if it's HER idea...

My conversation with Darby first thing this morning:
Me: "Come snuggle with me!"
Darby: "NO! I don't want to!"
Me: "I want to! Come snuggle!"
Darby: "I want to eat breakfast."
Me: "Snuggle!"
Darby: "No. You can snuggle with nothing."
Then she walked away.
Totally happened.

Lil' Red's Grinch Dream

It was Christmas time.

As we were getting ready in our bathroom one weekend morning, when "The Pixie" meandered in and nonchalantly began, "Last night, a BIG TRUCK pulled up and stole all our Christmas decorations!!!"  It didn't take long for us to figure out she was telling us about a dream she had the night before.  Well, either that, or she saw the trash truck and thought the trash man was taking more than just our junk.  The strange thing is that the girl hasn't seen the movie "The Grinch that Stole Christmas"!  If I take the decorations down outside, will she think the trash man took them?

It's January now.  I don't know if that dream just had a big impact on her little red head, or what, but she keeps bringing this dream up.  Maybe it is just a recurring nightmare she has been having.  You know, like the one I had when I was a kid where the monsters chased me down this long corridor until I came to a carnival stand where Bob Saget, who was convincingly dressed as my dad, promised to usher me to safety.  Mama didn't raise no fool.  I knew it was Bob, and I continued running.  Dreams are weird, but I have to say that Darby's dream of the Christmas decoration thief probably trumps my childhood nightmare of having to choose between a life of luxury on the set of "Full House" and my own life (monsters and all). 

Maybe, if I listen more closely to what my redhead has to say, I will have a topic for an AMAZING children's book one day!

I resend my statement.  I think she might BE the topic for an amazing children's book one day!!!
Curious Darby, anyone?

Little Red Riding Hood.

So...I think this story was born of an episode of Dora.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, our Big, Bad Wolf conversation:

Real Conversations with Darby #479:
Darby (wearing cat ear headband): "Mommy! I'm the Big, Bad Wolf!"
Me: "No. You're the GOOD wolf!"
Darby: "I'm the Big, BAD Wolf!"
Me: "Nope! You're GOOD!"
Darby (Makes grumbling noise): "No. I'm bad." (and she walks away)
I don't even know... 

Yesterday, we had our friend, Kari, over with "Baby AWINA," as Darby calls her.  We just LOVE Baby 'Wina (and Miss Kari, but that could probably be about 20 other stories for other days).  I'm just happy we haven't smothered Baby 'Wina to death yet.  Anyhow, as Kari and I were talking, Darby went and found her "Big Bad Wolf" ears (ie. cat ears) headband.  She was wearing them, so I whispered to Kari, "Those are the 'big bad wolf' ears."  Feeling like carrying on a little experiment, I told the Pixie, "Oh!  You have your GOOD wolf ears on!"  She happily replied, "Yes, I DO!"

There might be hope, folks.

Stop Kissing!

And then there was the time that Dallas walked up to me when he got home and laid one on me...We were in the middle of the kitchen kissing.  I have no idea why Darby was so bold as to think that she could break us up, but friends, we have been through five moves, pilot training, deployments, military service, a brain tumor and three kids.  That girl's got NOTHIN'.

So there we were...kissing in the kitchen.  Darby walks over and starts to pry herself in between us.  When she realized her efforts were in vain, she proceeded:

"Stop kissing," she said!  I looked at her and said, "No! Go away!"
 Sometimes you just have to put your kids in their place.

My older daughter was standing nearby and had to add her two cents:
Naomi: "Ew, that's disgusting!"
Me: "What's disgusting about daddy and I kissing?"
Naomi: "You're trading spit AND saliva when you kiss!"

Whoa!  Not spit AND saliva!  I mean, spit is one thing, but SALIVA?  That's a whole 'nother THING!  If I had known what was ACTUALLY involved in kissing, I would have quit LONG ago!

Election 2012

At the risk of bringing out my inner elephant, I will tell you a tale of Election 2012.  As most stay-at-home-moms do, I voted with my Little Pixie while big brother and sister were at school.  This is not the first time "The Pixie" has voted.  I'm a pretty faithful citizen.  However, I could not get it through the red on her head that were going VOTING, NOT BOATING.  Check out the following conversation:

Conversation #11,998 with Darby this morning:
"Me: Darby! We're going to go vote this morning!
Darby: We're going on a BOAT?!
Me: No, No. We're VOTING.
Darby: Boat?
Me: No.
Darby: Boat?
Me: No!"

Later that morning, at the voting place...
"Darby: Can I jump off the boat?
Me: No.
Darby: Is this boating?
Me: No!  It's VOTING!"
...a confused Darby searched the room for a boat, but only got a sticker that said she voted. And, she tried to steal all the American flags. Victory? We'll see tomorrow. !)

While she was roaming the room looking for the boat, I somehow managed to see SEVERAL people from my neighborhood...ALL of them sans children.  

I.
DON'T.
GET.
IT.
Do they leave their children at home unattended?
Do they leave them in their cars unattended?
Is there some TRICK that they teach you somewhere?
Kinda like the Chick-Fil-A trick I just learned of today?
The one where you take your toy and trade it in for a kid's dessert ice cream?
WHERE do people learn how to DO THIS STUFF?! 
...on PINTEREST?!!!

Anyhow, I voted while Darby was expecting to "boat."  
We both got "I Voted" stickers.
I was tempted to cross off "VOTED" on hers and write in "BOATED," but I didn't.

Barbie.

Darby's is TOTALLY into Barbie right now.  Well, she's totally into undressing Barbie and then leaving her in all her nakedness strewn about the house.  What is it with little girls?  Seriously!  They just undress Barbie and walk away!

She also likes Barbie movies.  We are the proud owners of "Barbie and the Diamond Castle", "Barbie and the Three Musketeers", "Barbie-Mermaidia", "Barbie and the Nutcracker", "Barbie in A Christmas Carol", "Barbie-Swan Lake", and our most recent add, "Barbie-Sing Along."

I.
Hate.
Barbie.

Anyhow, Darby knows every word to every Barbie song out there.  When Kristin and I were in Haiti on our missions trip, I jokingly said to Kristin, "You know the best part about being here?"  "No," she replied.  "BARBIE is NOT HERE!"  We both had a good laugh, but I'll be darned if I didn't check "That book" later on that night to watch a video Dallas posted of Darby playing guitar and singing, 'Believe in all that can be.  A miracle starts whenever you sing...'." Barbie had, indeed, graced the soils of Haiti. 

The obsession with Barbie has, in my own opinion, gone too far.  Darby was outside playing in the driveway one day.  She came inside, and the following conversation ensued:

Darby just said, "I need to go to the seven stones!"
My reply: "How do you get there?"
Darby: "It's in Barbie and the Diamond Castle. Here! I'll show you!"
Curious, I followed her outside, where we went to our landscaping stones to play for a bit.  But first, just to be on the safe side, I updated my status and told my friends that I would be "heading to the Seven Stones," and if I wasn't back in ten, to "just wait longer."  !)

The most phenomenal influence Barbie has made on our young Pixie of late happens when we are out in public.  Namely, anywhere anyone is shopping for anything.  She will walk up to any stranger and say, "Excuse me!  That belongs in MY KINGDOM!"  That has become such a common quote to be heard gracing her lips during a shopping trip that it doesn't even phase me anymore.  However, one day, she said it to an older man who had quite an exchange with the Redhead:

Man: "Oh.  I can't buy this?"
Darby: "No!"
Man: "Well, what CAN I buy?"
Darby: "That thing, and  you can ride a brown pony, and I will ride a pink horse!"

Another quick saying that She has picked up has become a "family quote."  She says it to us, we say it back to her.  It has been highly effective in behavior modification, and it goes something like this: "You are being a ROYAL PARTY POOPER!"  That's it.  One bold statement, and behavior changes to good almost instantaneously.  Go ahead and try it at home.  It might work for you, too!

Barbie...Darby...
Darby...Barbie...
There might be something to it.
Who knows?

The girl with the strawberry curl...

Oftentimes, when Darby is having "one of THOSE days," I find myself reciting a nursery rhyme to myself.  It's fitting, but this day, Darby was "on a roll," as they say.  In fact, she had a perfect little strawberry ringlet curl that somehow made it out of that ponytail I made earlier that day, and it was hanging down in the middle of her forehead.

If you read nursery rhymes, you already know where I'm going with this one, and you will appreciate this all the more.  You see, it's NOT just me!  There once was ANOTHER mother of a DIFFERENT Little Redhead Pixie, who had the SAME "problem."  So, as a tribute to all mothers with little redheads who have little curls that cascade down their foreheads when they are having a mischievious day...

There was a little girl with a strawberry curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good

But when she was bad, she was horrid.