"God Spankins"

August 12th, 2012:
"I've never had 'THAT kid' before. I've never had 'THE BITER,' that is, until today. The culprit? Guess...go ahead...GUESS who bit her friend today at church. You guessed correctly."

I'm pretty sure most of our friends and acquaintances from church have long since gotten wind of Darby's escapades.  She gallops all the way up to sign in every Sunday morning.  She jumps the entire time I sign her in...so much so, that I have a hard time getting her name tag sticker on her back without sticking it to her bouncing red curls.  I'm pretty sure several of our pastors read these stories.  Know how I know?  They are now walking up to me at church like I'm some victim of a redheaded horror story.  You know, the girl who screams when the zombie or killer rings the doorbell, but proceeds to run all the way up to the attic instead of out the back door?  Haha!  Yes. That kind of victim...but I'm no victim.  If I had some run-of-the-mill kid, I'd be bored stiff.  A girl needs excitement sometimes, and I have excitement ALL the time!  Anyhow, after I sign her in and finally manuever the sticker into place, it's time to hike up to the third floor to drop her off.  

They have this strange half door thing going on in the two-year-old classroom, and they always have this clipboard teetering on the edge.  So, most mornings, I chase Darby up the stairs, through the hallway and catch the clipboard as it falls to the ground while Darby lets herself in to class, does some victory jumps and says "hi" to her friends.  The room stops.  Kids stop playing.  Teachers stop teaching.  Darby has arrived.  She is now the center of attention, right where she likes to be.  Nothin' like getting your blood pumping before worship, y'all!  

You know, you've all heard of "the biter."  You know the one.  The one who terrorizes the children at preschool?  The kid at kiddie watch at the YMCA who bites...it's so bad, in fact, that when he's there, you decide not to run that day?  Yeah...that kid.  WELL.  I have that kid.  I picked Darby up from church one fine Sunday morning, and the sweet lady who runs the children's ministry very kindly told me that Darby had to sit in the "naughty chair" because she bit Noah.  The absolute first thing that went through my head was, "Oh, great.  Now I have 'THAT KID'."  I didn't let her have her lollipop that day.  The sky may as well have been falling, so extreme was her reaction to missing out on her Sunday morning highlight.  

The "naughty chair" is beginning to be a Sunday morning tradition.  Darby threw a book up in the air last Sunday, and it came down and hit her on the head.  You know what I call those sorts of events?  
"God spankins," aka. "self critiquing mistakes."  Don't you worry your pretty little mind.  She ALSO gets disciplined, but the "God spankins" just add a little sweetness to the joy of being a mother.  It's like He is on my side, and He is!  I'm trying to raise my Little Red Pixie to be a Big red Pixie who loves the Lord her God with all her heart, mind, soul and strength! 

 And, since "it takes a village," I am happy to hear that I have a team of people who are graciously sitting her little bottom in the "naughty chair...and then giving her a lollipop.  !)

 July 31st, 2012: 
"Darby snuck out of the house when I was vacuuming, went down the hill to play on our neighbor's play set and got stung by a bee. Can anyone say self critiquing mistake?"